somedays you just wake up and the world totally sucks

today's just one of those days. feel sad.

last night i finally got the reply from IRO. no. i'm not going for sep. it's all about money i tell you. today, yesterday, tomorrow, always and forever, it'll always be those with money that will go places. and those without money, will never get far. i'm disappointed. and i don't know if i will reapply again next sem. is it worth the trouble? to start anticipating only to be turned down again.

school stuff. i can't access the facility booking system on the OED site. it always gets stuck halfway loading. and it's not just on my computer. i got bro to try it on his comp, didn't work either. it's so frustrating. and i don't know how to contact the geog dept directly either. i hate myself for being so shy. and i'm supposed to prepare a detailed floor map for the schools. betcha that won't get done till the last minute. this should be left to someone living in the hall. i can't remember all the details and it's too far to go down just to see it.

and next week's gonna be total hell. not next week. starting now it's gonna be hell. the extra practice today, the fellowship in the evening, fr paul's stuff tmr, and i'm skipping my FIC rehersal tomorrow. monday's FIC for the whole freaking day. tuesday's national anthem and workshop. thursday's welcome tea. next week's recruitment booths and auditions and lessons starting. and assumption mass next tuesday. someone kill me now, please.

and my tag board is not working again. this time, it's not just hanging, it's not displaying messages. i know cos i tried it twice. and the message didn't appear. is that why it's always stuck at sumi's message? or is it that no one's come to see me? did something happen to the code while i was making the skin? it works for my phenomenaldreamscape blog but not for the trueillusion one. why??!

ya anyway, i know i'm paranoid, but i got the feeling that tuesday is going to be a disaster. whatever the case, this is going to be the first and last time i take my choir outside the church for anything like this. there's no point. they are not engaging in it. so it's no point. they'll not learn anything. right now, let's just get through the torture and be done with it.

i hate my life. i'm not coping with it. sigh.



mood: sad
listening to: gaudete - libera boys choir